Saturday, December 26, 2009

Officials: Jesus "Okay" After Attack By Woman Seeking Cure

Associated Press

December 25

Galilee— Security procedures for public appearances are under review, according to an official of The Way, a messianic Jewish sect known for the controversial lifestyle of its charismatic leader, Jesus of Nazareth. The review comes after a woman jumped a barrier and rushed at Jesus apparently attempting to rip the hem off his robe before being apprehended by guards, security chief Judas Iscariot said Friday.


The woman, shown at left in a cellphone photo taken shortly before the attack, apparently believed that touching the prophet's clothing could cure her menstrual hemorrhage.She was wrestled to the ground by several plainclothes security personnel before being admitted to a clinic for treatment.

Jesus, 30, wasn't hurt in the Thursday afternoon incident, and immediately afterword his followers claim that he raised a twelve year old girl from the dead. Though a bit unsteady at first, he also delivered a short speech about the political and religious corruption plaguing the Judean region.

The incident just off the shore of Lake Galilee raised fresh questions about security for the prophet, however, after Jesus barely escaped being mugged by an unruly crowd of swineherds the week before. The group was protesting the mass suicide of their large herd of hogs following Jesus' reputed healing of a homeless man who had lived for years in the graveyard outside Geresene village. The area, long occupied by Gentile settlers, is in a disputed area of Judea.

“While we are interested in continuing our drive for rights for the poor, women and minorities,” Isacariot said, “we cannot simply open Jesus' healing up to every mentally unstable person who thinks she has a right to health care.” He added that, while Jesus will be returning to Nazareth next week, The Way is not expecting any great miracles to happen there. Meantime, only those with the new Real Rome I.D. Cards will be allowed in the immediate areas where Jesus is speaking.

3 comments:

Barb. said...

You're one of those "Heavenly Messengers," I believe -- or perhaps "Court Reporters"....And you're on a roll with your productivity this year! This one is scarily possible today, isn't it? Happy New Year, Tim!

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